Many moons ago (okay, three decades maybe) I remember sitting at my desk trying to recreate Thror’s* Map, several hours later I’d created a crumpled piece of paper covered in ink which looked, if you squinted quite a bit something like a map. It was quickly filed in the relevant section of the waste paper basket.

A few years later and I was at a different desk but my task was the same, to recreate the map so that it looked just as I imagined it to be when reading The Hobbit, this time I baked the paper in the oven, creased it, cut it, rumpled it…. and it still looked, I have to be honest pretty feeble. So, when I first saw The Lord of the Rings on the big screen there was a glimpse of the map, but it was a brief glimpse at that, I still had a glimpse how the map should really look and it put my attempts to shame

Fast forward a few years and The Hobbit is only a few weeks from hitting the screen and an email arrives from Weta announcing some new Hobbit related merchandise, I click the link and there’s Thror’s map They’ve made it available in two versions, as a prop replica, and as a parchment art print.

I opted for the print and placed the order. One week later it arrives (not bad going NZ to UK in a week ;-)) and I remove it from it’s tube and packaging. The map is 12.6″ x 16.3″ and is printed on Italian Marina Conchiglia parchment paper and feels nice to the touch. The creases, cuts and stains are very well done and Daniel Reeve has created an excellent version of Thror’s map, now I feel the urge to visit some of the places shown on the map, time to dig out the book and have a read before the first movie hits the screens.

The only question is now, do I buy the other maps in the range…

*Yes, I know many refer to the map as Thorin’s Map, but it’s stuck in my head as being Thror’s Map from when I first read the Hobbit and that’s what it’ll be for me

I know it’s obvious, you see an online competition and you read through all the rules before taking part. Well, it may be obvious but it’s something I often forget

So, the other day I noticed a competition with a rather nice first prize, a trip to New Zealand and a visit to Weta – the important details were fairly clear “Don’t just sit around like a nilly wag, design the latest and greatest rayguns using Blender — the free but ever-so-awesome 3D software to help your wicked creations come to life.” As I say, the important details were clearly shown, not only that but were printed in bold

A short while after reading seeing the competition I was busy trying to design my first raygun, sadly for me I missed the important bit of the competition rules, namely that I should use Blender (that ever-so-awesome 3D software) to create the raygun. My first attempt at a raygun was the ‘multiphasing-twiddly-gun’…

After the ‘multiphasing-twiddly-gun’, I visited the workshop of Dr Grordbort, where the ‘featherlight-sniper-rifle’ was still sitting on the workbench…

It was whilst I was busy playing with this rifle that I went back to the competition website and checked the details, I experienced that sinking feeling that the hours I’d spent in 3D Studio Max had just been wasted and I now have to decide whether I wish to learn how to use Blender or find another way to New Zealand. Next time, I’ll read the rules twice

I’d defy anyone to pick up the Righteous Bison (Indivisible Particle Smasher) and not run around their house/flat/workplace/garden zapping everything in sight. Well, it’s what I did, it just felt the right thing to do somehow. Now luckily we don’t have many people living nearby to get concerned over such activities, I would suggest however if you have neighbours who are perhaps a bit more inquisitive than ours, then perhaps you should not try smashing particles outside with this ray gun just yet. That’s not to say you can’t have a lot of fun indoors, you can have endless fun hiding behind doors just so you can jump out, ray gun in hand, and zap everyone that passes you by. Now it may be a good point to make a very small, but sad confession; this is my first ever ray gun (pause for gasp of surprise from everyone who knows me), how I managed to get this far without one I’ll never know. Thankfully, I am now armed, but can only really claim to be slightly dangerous.

Being armed with a Righteous Bison – Indivisible Particle Smasher (hereafter referred to as a RBIPS ;-)) is a strange feeling, unlike a standard ballistics weapon which is essentially a dead lump in your hand, the RBIPS feels different from the moment you pick it up, almost as if it is part of you. Flick the safety/power switch (located on either side for your convenience) and you’ll feel it come to life in your hand with a subtle click and almost imperceptible hum which quickly fades into silence. My first adventure with the RBIPS was in our back garden, I did not want to zap someone by accident, just knowing it was there at my side was comfort and I soon found myself not just walking but strutting around the garden, taking idle pot shots at passing trees and bushes.

From what I’ve been told not every Righteous Bison sold by WETA actually functions as a particle smasher, some apparently are used purely as a display piece. As strange as this sounded to me at first I can understand the reasoning. The RBIPS has a distressed finish giving it the look of a weapon that has been not only been a useful tool but a faithful companion on numerous adventures.

Putting aside the silliness of playing in the garden, this really is the first ray gun I’ve been up close to real or otherwise and I did not know quite what to expect. Removing it from the box the first thing you notice is the packaging has been well designed (or perhaps as an ex-designer packaging is something I notice more that others). Flip the lid and beneath you can see the RBIPS underneath a clear plastic cutout of the weapon, which means if you are that way inclined you don’t even have to open the box if you don’t want to. Not taking it out of the box would be a shame though, it feels nice in the hand, something that makes you realize that not only was it designed to look the part it was designed to feel the part too – attention to detail is something that I can appreciate.

This ray gun really would appeal to so many people, and for the size 10.4” x 15.7” x 3.1” (H x W x D) weighing in at 2.6lbs this is seriously good value for money, have a look at WETA’s site for details on how to buy your very own Righteous Bison – Indivisible Particle Smasher.

Next time I’ll review Dr. Grordbort’s : Victorious Mongoose – Miniature Version, well if I ever find it again

Graeme